The Love Triangle
by anxresi
Summary: After experiencing true love for the first time with a certain journal wielding nerd, Bill wants to make him his... FOREVER. And nothing will stand in his way, not even that sweater wearing nuisance. BillDip... With a twist. One shot.


I love him.

Ever since I was inside him that day

I just can't think straight.

'Straight' get it?

TEE HEE!

Little bit of interdimensional humour there.

But seriously...

I love him.

I was a part of him all too briefly

It was like nothing I'd experienced before

I felt his curiosity.

His fears.

His hopes.

His dreams.

His loves.

His hates.

His pain.

Oh, that sweet delicious pain.

Pure, unadultered pain.

I must have more of it.

Then Shooting Star came along and exploited hi... OUR weakness.

I hate her.

She will pay...

Some people may say love between an Earth boy and a dream demon cannot exist.

To them I say... YVDYDUTIFIXAWRE.

Don't know what it means?

Try deciphering it.

HA! You couldn't, could you?

It's nonsense. Not EVERYTHING makes sense.

Just like what I feel for Pine Tree.

He's unlike anyone I've seen before.

And that's a lot of people.

Even what I felt for Six Fingers is NOTHING compared to this.

I want to see him again.

I want to BE him again.

The temptation is just too strong.

Which is why I, Bill Cipher.

The triangle of mystery

The master of the Dreamscape.

And all around bad guy

Am putting my plans for World Domination on hold.

And am now currently hovering above the Mystery Shack late at night.

Gee, what happened to this place anyway?

It looks like a nuclear missile hit it.

Sweet, glorious destruction

Well, no matter.

I'm here for Pine tree.

Nothing else matters.

As I float above the wreckage

Searching for the one I adore.

I see Glasses and Six fingers side by side on an old armchair.

Sorry, Six fingers.

I've moved on.

So should you.

I go higher up.

And there, on what's left of the second floor.

I see him.

My prince

My intended

My obsession.

The only one I ever felt comfortable with.

Pine Tree...

If only you knew...

He's clutching that journal again...

I wish it was me in his arms...

But no matter.

BOTH will be mine soon enough.

I pass Shooting Star and her fat pink friend.

How I HATE her.

She'll regret seperating us

Mark my words.

But it was only temporary.

I'm back now, to stay.

Nothing will break us apart again.

I climb under his sheets.

I feels so warm there...

I'm nervous.

Can I do this?

What if he rejects me?

Does our deal still stand?

Well, there's only one way to find out.

I close my one eye...

And get ready to link with my love...

Forever...

Hang on...

Why is he turning around?

He's still asleep.

He's mumbling to himself...

"Lovely Dorito?"

What's a Dori...

AARGH!

Without warning

He's got me in his vice like grip

And he's taking me somewhere...

He's...

He's...

NO!

NOT THERE!

HE'S USING THE WEAPONS IN HIS MOUTH!

HE'S TAKING CHUNKS OUT OF ME!

I could defend myself...

But I don't to do anything bad...

Not to my Pine Tree...

Soon, I'll be no more...

I shall cease to exist...

The eternal demon that was supposed to rule over everything...

Slowly digesting in Pine Tree's stomach

Ironic, huh?

Well, not really.

No-one uses that word correctly, anyway.

And as my conciousness fades

And my surrounding turn red and squishy...

One final thought springs to mind...

I always wanted to be inside Pine Tree again...

Looks like I got my wish.

Enjoy it, Bill.

EPILOGUE:

Dipper woke up. He feels remarkedly full, even though he hasn't had any breakfast and his pillow is still fully intact. He never would live down that marshmallow incident...

Of course, Mabel had already rose at the crack of dawn, and is now on her third bowl of sugar-coated-E-number-saturated-cute-fluffy-animal-shaped cereal. Well, a gal's gotta do something to keep her unnaturally high levels of hyperactivity up.

Dipper lays his journal to one side... Yawns... And then kicks something.

"Huh, what's this?" The becapped one says.

"MABEL" He shouts to his sister from the top of the collapsing stairs. " DID YOU LEAVE A SMALL WALKING STICK AND HAT BY MY BED LAST NIGHT?" He sighs. It would be just like her to mess around with stuff on him and take pictures while he was in the Land Of Nod.

His sister looks up from her 'healthy' snack in confusion and hollers back. "NO..." Then she has another thought. "BUT LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THEM."

Dipper sighed, and descended the stairs to present Mabel with two very small items... a tiny walking cane, and a minature top hat (which was even smaller than before, as Dipper has stepped on it.)

Mabel's smile suddenly reached Grand Canyon proportions. "OH, THESE ARE PERFECT! THANK YOU BRO BRO! YOU REMEMBERED" She gave Dipper his second big hug of the day. (The first was while he was still asleep. Not creepy at all).

Dipper was utterly perplexed, as I'm sure you are. "Remembered? Remembered what?!" he said, totally lost.

Mabel gave him a little nudge, and a wink. "You didn't think you'd fool me with that whole 'I just found them by my bed', did you, Dipstick?! You HEARD me yesterday talking about how I wanted to make a special film about Waddles being an old fashioned English gentleman... But I didn't have the props. And now you... Being the BEST LITTLE BROTHER EVER, have found me the perfect accessories. Here, you've earned this."

She unpeeled a sticker from SOMEWHERE (Don't ask) and slapped it on Dipper's forehead. As he would find out later on, it said 'YOUR NUMBA ONE', with a humanised 1 giving a thumbs up. Her own design (and spelling).

"Now I can get started on it with Candy and Grenda... Let me just go and call them..." She stopped by the door for a minute, glancing at her bowl. " Oh, you can finish that off if you like... I'm excited enough as it!" And with a hop, a skip and a jump... She'd disappeared.

A long suffering Dipper rolled his eyes. Out of all the mysteries, conundrums and riddles he'd ever solved since arriving in this strange town... None of them even came close to the enigma that was his own sister. "Maybe I should ask our parents to send her back to be retested. Perhaps they missed something."

With nothing better to do (And nothing left in the Grunkle Stan's cupboard) he decided to sit down, and accept Mabel's offer of devouring the final scraps of her now very sludgy breakfast.

Just before the disgusting mess hit his esophagus, he thought he felt the slightest hint of protest from his tummy area. Which was impossible, since it wasn't a sentient being.

"Huh. Well what d'ya know. even my own stomach knows what a load of rubbish this is." But he carried on shoveling it in regardless...

And the struggles were no more.

(That's the story of how one boy's courage... determination... spirit... and irrepressible appetite, saved the world. Maybe not quite the amazing climax Alex Hirsch had in mind when he created the show, but meh. I'm off now to watch some hardcore tiddlywinks. Ciao.)


End file.
